In what has been a whirlwind of a year, I find myself extremely grateful for the year that I’ve had. It has been full of ups and downs but I wanted to take time to write about something I would have never written about in the past.
Being truly comfortable with yourself
As I have grown as a person over the year, perhaps the biggest observation is I found myself growing more and more comfortable with who I am and the direction I was heading. Something I would have never written about in the past, I find myself in a great space to write about it currently. I hit a point of realizing that I would have moments of self doubt which truly showcased the moments where I wasn’t comfortable with who I was as a person and in this realization, it led me to understand that this was not a life that I wanted to live. I would be caught up in what others thought of me or even the look that I would receive from them. I would present at a clinic and catch eyes from others who were likely thinking “This guy is going to teach me about basketball?”
Progressing as a coach truly did help me progress as a person. What I failed to realize was that this relationship worked both ways where progressing as a person made me a better coach. After years and years of coaching and player development, I came to a firmer understanding of who I am as a coach and what I truly believe in. A large part of this reflection came as I applied for head coaching job. I fell short as the finalist but the process was invaluable in my long term growth as a person and coach.
What the months following this disappointment brought to me was a deeper understanding of who I was and where I needed to get to. I had taken years and years to build an identity for myself as a coach…but who was I as a person?
I realized that my moments of self doubt were not only hiding me from who I truly was. They were also pushing me further away from realizing the person I could become. These daily battles would go on within my head and I would so greatly want to fight them off. As a result, I would go coach and thought I was truly dealing with the issue.
What I have learned the most is that the athletes I have trained have helped me figure out a tonne of things. I continue to realize what I believe in by little things happening.. Do I want to wake up early? Do I want to drive hours? Do I want to go to the mainland again?
Moments of disappointment are going to happen in life but when they do, remember there is some major growth that can occur from it.
In these moments I was extra thankful for a great group of coaches, friends and family who were always there to help me grow as a person. I started to realize that the traits that I firmly believed in as a coach, were the same I believed in as a person. However, I was doing a very poor job of applying them to my life. I would describe myself as a resilient coach who will do whatever it takes to achieve a goal and yet I wasn’t living that as a person. The realization was important and it truly did change my outlook on many things.
In closing, I continue to work towards a state of total comfort and acceptance, which I think is a common process for many individuals. How am I going to get there? Likely with the same philosophy I have on player development… Work at it EVERY.DAMN.DAY
I owe a huge thank you to all the athletes I coach and coaches I work with. Furthermore, a huge thank you to the friends and family I have in my life that have always been supportive!
More posts coming soon!